I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
