Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
