If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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