Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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