Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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