is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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