next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
