idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
