and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
