honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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