drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she smelled like a LAN party
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
