My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
