What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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