He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
