And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
