ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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