Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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