Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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