Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
