I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
