More tranny stories later!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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