Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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