he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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