I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
