Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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