maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
