Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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