At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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