You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
