Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
