Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
