the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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