I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
