i would punch a child for taco bell
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
