Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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