im about as happy as oj after his trial
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
