Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
