that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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