he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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