Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
love makes seman taste better
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
