You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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