I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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