plz talk dirty to me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize