Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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