I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
