Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Less talking, more tequila
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
