somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
