totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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