You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
