I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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