So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
