Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I party with great urgency now.
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