ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
