Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
