She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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