i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
