What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
