I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
