what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
