Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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