Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
