I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
