Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
