Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
