Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My penis needs a shock collar
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
