I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
